HUMOR

The Wreckages Of Romance Road

Falling in love is hard to do

My first loves were the Walt Disney women who were upright animals.

Disney taught me that if I see long eyelashes on a fox, a lion, or a rabbit, I’ll hunt for loopholes in the Bible so we can be together.

Unfortunately, there are no loopholes in Disney. It’s rabbit on rabbit, fox on fox, and so forth. The closest they get is having Belle fall in love with a buffalo in pants.

Even then, the two wait until he sheds his furry suit before they visit each other’s EPCOT Centers.

I met a girl at a basketball game in 7th grade.

Her name was Amy. She was a friend of some friends of mine. I asked Amy if she wanted to go to the movies with me and our mutual pals. She paused. We hadn’t even held hands, yet the pause was pregnant.

When she finally said “Sure,” she didn’t sound sure. But people rarely have control over the tone of their voice. For example, when I said, “Really? Thank you!” I yelled it in her face.