HUMOR

Teacher Barely Recovers After Contracting Minor Case Of Authority

The Illness Of Power

My university let grad students teach its young. I was one of these grad students, and they paid us actual money for what we did. The class was English 101, hospice care for creativity.

Some of us had never taught before, never wanted to teach, and we all made mistakes. I won’t say “rookie mistakes,” because not all of them were. Some of them were plain old mistake-mistakes, like this one (and the next one, and the next one, and the next one):

One

This teacher got carried away talking about compound sentences probably, and she started making sex jokes. She even acted out some of the moves using the big desk.

Students reported her and she had to apologize to them. It must have been confusing to see the big desk in question suddenly used as a platform of repentance. “My fellow Americans, I shall never again use this sexiest desk in America sexily.”

But what can you do, ban all big desks?

For this teacher? Yes.

Two

Another teacher got in trouble for his behavior during a student-teacher conference in his office.

Apparently, he ate a banana “suggestively.”

By the way, this should be a test for all people in positions of power. Like recertification tests for CPR technicians and forklift operators. The rulers of our land need to be recertified to rule. Often. Because power is a swampy mouth sucking on the lozenge of morality. It’s only a matter of time before morality’s gone and sex rushes in to fill the void, so to speak.

The Power Test

You are in a position of power. You have a meeting with a member of the public. You have no idea this person is a PRO (Power-Recertification Officer).

A piece of fruit lies on the conference table between you. It could be a banana. It could be a pomegranate.

Don’t touch the fruit. Don’t look at the fruit. And if you lean forward, close your eyes, sniff the fruit, and moan, you’re done.

Three