HUMOR
Small Town Untrained Pig Surgery
A Christmas story
My dad and aunt used to risk their lives in a game of Pig Rodeo.
Here’s how you play it.
Get a pig pen. Get an extremely mean pig.
The Pen
You don’t have to be a carpenter. Just find some posts and boards and nails, a big hammer, then think about prison, and the thing practically builds itself.
The Mean Pig
These are even easier to make. Because God already did most of the work. For some reason, he made pigs extremely intelligent. Take extreme intelligence, confine it in a muddy square, and presto: homicidal pig.
Get an apple tree too. That’s what Dad and Aunt Kathy had. The tree grew beside the pen. It rained apples on the pig. They thumped his head, giving him epiphanies, dreams, and visions of killing Dad and Kathy.
Because the tree also rained Dad and Kathy.
They’d climb the apple tree, hang from the branches, and then drop onto the pig’s back and ride.
