HUMOR

Finding Fossil Fuels In The Bottom Of Your Heart

for those in love with life and dinosaurs

by author

I stole a bracelet from my nephew. It’s one of those rubber bracelets that make people imagine you’re supporting a cause.

You are.

You’re wearing a bracelet. Which means that rubber loop is wrapped around your wrist instead of the neck of your local dolphin.

by author

On my bracelet, there are dinosaurs. Nine dinosaurs on parade. So, I guess you know the truth by now:

I’m pro-dinosaur.

Why?

Because life’s too short not to be what you are.

When I march into bars and catch people running down dinosaurs, saying things like, “Let’s make this an anti-dinosaur bar,” I order the biggest beer. I drink it using my most muscly arm, the “major arm,” which is for luring love makers — I glaze it in shine and flourish it in public places — and sometimes the arm is for intimidation work.

I lift the big beer with Major and guess what’s clearly visible?