HUMOR
Blood, Blood Everywhere, And Every Drop A Message
My bloody Easter
I recently bought a gigantic knife. It’s beautiful, almost as long as a sword, and this morning I knocked it off the edge of my desk, tried to catch it, and it sliced a dime-sized flap of flesh off my thumb.
Blood, blood everywhere, not squirting, but gushing. I rushed into the bathroom for medical supplies and made a huge bloody mess.
I put pressure on the wound like the movies say, and I was so delighted when it actually worked that I wanted to suck the poison out and pour whisky on it and cauterize it with a cigar and bite on a stick and all the other cool things people do with wounds in movies.
After I stopped the bleeding, I left the blood all over the sink and toilet and floor, because I wanted my wife to find it and become terrified and rush into my office to save me.
What else is one supposed to do on Easter but drown the people they love with love? I was so excited to give my wife the opportunity.
I hear her now.
