2 days agoMember-onlyPoo Prints In The SandMother Nature carried me — I grew up in the little country town of Palermo, Maine. I was a son of the Earth, Boondock Boy, and Child of the Mud. Crow song was my song, pond scum was my soap, and the aroma of cow manure fertilized my sleep, growing a single dream: I will…Humor4 min readHumor4 min read
May 26Member-onlyMy Wife Said, “Yeah, I think you lost sight of the story in this story, old sport.”A tale of benevolent parasites that goes off the rails probably — When I was young, my cousin and I would save our hair for each other. This didn’t mean we harvested it from shower drains or bagged it after haircuts then wove it into dolls with walkie talkies in their wombs so we could talk to each other through our hair…Children8 min readChildren8 min read
May 21Member-onlyThe Wreckages Of Romance RoadFalling in love is hard to do — My first loves were the Walt Disney women who were upright animals. Disney taught me that if I see long eyelashes on a fox, a lion, or a rabbit, I’ll hunt for loopholes in the Bible so we can be together. Unfortunately, there are no loopholes in Disney. It’s rabbit…Love6 min readLove6 min read
May 13Member-onlyI Don’t Go To Therapy To Make Friends. I Go To Win. Part IIThis time, it’s personal — After breaking up with my forensic psychologist, I found myself a cognitive behavioral therapist, the best rebound of my life. He’s introduced me to the concept of “distorted brain messages.” DBM. Here’s how it breaks down for the layman: D means dumb. BM means shit. DBM means the dumb shit…Mental Health6 min readMental Health6 min read
May 7Member-onlyI Don’t Go To Therapy To Make Friends. I Go To Win.Part I — I’ve been increasingly unable to enjoy people. My social circle has shrunk to the point that my cats own a devastatingly significant percentage of the stock. When you spend too much time with cats and no one else, you start seeing the world the way they do: “Will you serve…Therapy10 min readTherapy10 min read
Published inAge of Awareness·Apr 30Member-onlyTeacher Barely Recovers After Contracting Minor Case Of AuthorityThe Illness Of Power — My university let grad students teach its young. I was one of these grad students, and they paid us actual money for what we did. The class was English 101, hospice care for creativity. Some of us had never taught before, never wanted to teach, and we all made mistakes…Teaching6 min readTeaching6 min read
Apr 22Member-onlyFifty Pounds Of Murder In A Cat-Shaped BagA cat and her boy: united by meat — Growing up, we shared a house with a tiny black-and-white cat who had two personalities. Indoors, she gave us the cold shoulder, but outside, especially in the woods, she was almost human. In a good way. You’d go walking along a trail, and Kitty would join you. For miles. …Cats4 min readCats4 min read
Apr 15Member-onlyYou Promised You Wouldn’t Touch My Humanity, Domino’s PizzaA delivery to remember — I recently ordered Domino’s online and selected a marvelous delivery option: “Contactless.” The website described it beautifully: “A Contactless Delivery prevents direct personal contact between you and your Delivery Expert.” I loved that. But I wondered, How will you do it, Domino’s? Don’t forget: If we see you, that’s a…Family4 min readFamily4 min read
Apr 9Member-onlyBlood, Blood Everywhere, And Every Drop A MessageMy bloody Easter — I recently bought a gigantic knife. It’s beautiful, almost as long as a sword, and this morning I knocked it off the edge of my desk, tried to catch it, and it sliced a dime-sized flap of flesh off my thumb. Blood, blood everywhere, not squirting, but gushing. I rushed…Love2 min readLove2 min read
Apr 1Member-onlyThe Benefits Of Running Yourself To DeathThe run positive movement — I stopped running a few years ago. Not in the figurative sense. I’ll never stop running from my past. It’s the only way I can achieve enough distance from it to see it clearly enough to laugh at it. I mean I quit running for exercise. I was convinced it…Running7 min readRunning7 min read
